We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
