Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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