My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Randomize