Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
