This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
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