After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
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