Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Randomize
