don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
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