so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
