Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Randomize
