I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
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