I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
