Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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