Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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