there's paper in my vomit.
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
What a dumb baby whore.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Randomize
