didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
