did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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