Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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