woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Who put my cat in the fridge?
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
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