I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
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