Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
