once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
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You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
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Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
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