dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
