i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Randomize
