I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
I touched a dick in church today
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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