Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
