Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
