i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
