Your mouth is God's brothel.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
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I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize