Nicole vs. Life
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Randomize
