I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
