The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
