apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
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