it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
