CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
