Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
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