Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
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