Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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