my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
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