the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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