and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Come see our sink grown plant.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
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