mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
I don't think brook has ever known best
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
