Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
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He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
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I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize