What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
if i died would you start the facebook group?
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Randomize
