So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
