Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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