Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
