my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
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