He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize
