There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize
