what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
