If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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