I wanna bring you to show and tell
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
