ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
