I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
