Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
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i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
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We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
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