All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
