i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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