if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize
