Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Randomize
