Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
We need a shit load of segways right now
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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