It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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