Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize
