I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
