it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
