I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
