We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
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