the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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