i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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