You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Randomize
