i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Randomize
